


Better living through chemistry

by keysburg



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Domestic Violence, Drug-Induced Violence, F/M, Fic Exchange, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, I Blame Tumblr, Prompt Fill, Psychotropic Drugs, Stabbing, an agent's job is never done, being a spy sucks, i love samberly, sorta anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6618649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keysburg/pseuds/keysburg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My fill for the OhPeggysous! Exchange on Tumblr</p><p>Prompt: Peggy encounters Daniel, who is brainwashed (or something along those lines). He talks her down viciously, and eventually attacks her. He wounds her nearly fatally, and leaves her. Once he snaps out of it, fluff and angst ensues in Peggy's hospital room.</p><p>I did stretch the bounds of the prompt a bit, while still trying to deliver the desired angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The problem with working for the SSR was that you never knew how your day was going to turn out. You might spend the day doing paperwork, or you might end up in the middle of a life or death situation. Sometimes it was like the war had never ended. The SSR was disturbingly similar to vacillating between days of endless marching, or sitting in a hole in the ground, and bursts of combat. But some wars are worth fighting; most days he didn’t regret his choice. Work worth doing was always better than working just for the sake of it. That could have easily been his fate after the war. The SSR had been a lifeline.

At least L.A. was sunny and warm and helped reduce the aches in his leg. It was a better battlefield than some freezing forest halfway across the world, as far as he was concerned. There was often more space to work out the problems, too. So much of what they did was secret, the public unaware of the war they waged. It made things harder but it made them easier too, as he was reminded when the calls started coming in.

The reports were all the same: metallic spheres were appearing in outdoor areas across the city, all making the same low humming sound. After the first dozen, the district police dispatcher started patching calls directly to Rose. Someone up the chain had decided that this was the SSR’s problem--Daniel’s problem--and they weren’t going to help. 

All his agents got pulled back from their investigations and sent back out to collect the whatever-they-weres. Lab staff went with them to check for the usual dangers: explosive compounds, poisons, radiation. Daniel was a bit leery of collecting hundreds of mysterious objects in one place, so most of them went to different storage spaces the SSR had secured around the city. Calls kept coming and he had to keep sending out teams to collect them. 

Within a few hours everyone was out and about, doing just that. Rose had managed to keep track of where everyone was, roughly, and radioed them to pick up nearby spheres as they were called in. It was an eventuality that a call came in, and the only people left to deal with it were Daniel--and Samberly. He had let most of the agents pair up with their own choices from the lab, and of course no one picked Samberly. He was all too excited when the call came up. He put two huge cases in the trunk of Daniel’s car as they headed out.

“Back in the field again, Chief Sousa! I can’t wait to get my hands on one of those spheres. I’ve got some new detectors I want to try out.”

“Great, great. Do me a favor and shut up, okay? I need to listen to the radio traffic.” Daniel tuned in the SSR band. Samberly’s silence didn’t last very long, but he did manage to hear a couple more were secured. Except for the humming, they were all inactive thus far. 

“And why so many of them? Whatever they’re trying to accomplish must be pretty complicated to make the distribution of so many individual modules worthwhile. And whoever is trying to accomplish it, they must be very organized. No one’s seen hide or hair of how the spheres were placed.”

“Unless the distribution was the point,” Daniel said slowly. It was so hard to think with Samberly prattling on.

“You mean like a test run? Seems like a good way to tip your hand. Or more like a distraction? It has managed to drag us all out, running around the city.” They had arrived at the location now. Daniel had a sickening feeling Samberly was on to something. As annoying as the man was, he was smart. For now, they’d just concentrate on picking this one up, and then get back to the office. Daniel needed to look at the map of pick up locations Rose was assembling. She’d started mapping them without his even asking, just in case a pattern became evident. Rose was way more valuable than a simple cover agent and he found himself thanking his lucky stars for her on a regular basis.

Fortunately, there was just one old man standing there with this sphere, complaining about the insufferable humming. Daniel did his best to calm the man and asked him to move off while Samberly started unpacking stuff from his cases. 

“Chief Sousa? What if the point was to get us out here, exposed?”

“Start scanning, Samberly. Why would anyone want you out here, anyway?” 

Dr. Samberly gestured at his prototype before flipping some switches.

“You may not have the highest opinion of me, Chief Sousa, but that doesn’t mean everyone shares your views. The Reds have been trying to recruit lots of scientists lately. And I do have all these new prototypes, and until today I had nothing to try them out on…”

The stabbing sensation in his neck was almost a welcome distraction from Samberly’s endless commentary. Daniel brought a hand up to his neck, and found a dart. Black and silver, tipped with white fletching and sharp as the dickens. 

“Samberly… call for back-up!” Daniel didn’t hear if he responded, the blackness rolling in.


	2. Chapter 2

When Daniel woke up, he was ready to kill whomever had shot him. There was no target handy for his anger as he was lying on a cot--in the lab back at the SSR. His jacket had been removed, his shirt and belt loosened, but otherwise he was intact. Had Samberly actually done something right for once?

Aloysius was across the room, playing with some test tubes and glaring at read outs from the mass spectrometer as he muttered to himself. 

“Benzene… diazepine… I don’t know what that’s supposed to be… testosterone…”

“Chief! You’re awake!” That was Rose, coming in from the hall as Daniel sat up. “How do you feel?”

“Like someone rang my bell and I owe them one in return. Samberly, how did we get back here?”

“I hit the deck when you went down, Chief, but no further shots landed. So I bagged the dart from your hand and dragged you into the car.” Which meant that he had ignored Daniel’s order. Normally he’d give Samberly a hard time about that, but he found himself oddly pleased that the doctor had stepped up. At least he hadn’t fainted this time. 

“I wanted him to take you to the hospital,” Rose said. “But he insisted he could figure out what you were hit with faster, despite not being a medical doctor.” She glared at Samberly. “He hasn’t come up with any answers yet.”

“I have half an answer!” He protested. “I’m pretty sure the knockout portion of the drug was only step one. There’s a lot of longer-acting stuff in here that will be affecting you for a little bit.”

“Affecting him how, Aloysius?” Rose demanded.

“I haven’t figured that part out yet. I need more time.” 

“It’s been over an hour! Tell me right now why I shouldn’t take him to the hospital while you work on things here?” 

“Rose! Stop badgering the man. Dr. Samberly is clearly doing everything he can for me.” That came out a lot louder than Daniel had intended. His employees both turned to him, startled. 

“Um, okay. Describe how you’re feeling for me, Chief Sousa,” Samberly said.

“I’m--warm. Is the A/C on?” 

“Yes, it’s the same temperature as usual, Chief. Here, let’s take your temperature.” Rose was irritating the hell out of him, for some reason. He tried to remind himself that she was just worried about him, and took the thermometer from her anyway. Ninety-nine degrees.

“Just a little warm, that’s not a proper fever,” Samberly muttered. “Let’s check your blood pressure.” He came over with a cuff and a stethoscope, waiting while Daniel rolled up his shirt sleeve. At least it was quick. “Okay, that’s a little high too. Anything else to report?”

“I was a little disorientated when I woke up, but I feel okay now. Where’s that map of pick-up locations? There was something I wanted to look at.” Daniel reached for his crutch and used it to stand up. The low slung cot made it difficult to get his prosthetic under him, and Rose rushed over to catch his free elbow. He waved her off. He was fine; he didn’t need a nursemaid, and the way she was hovering was driving him crazy. 

“I don’t think you should work, Chief Sousa. Some of the stuff that’s in here--it looks like it’s priming your body’s natural reactions to stress. If you get worked up, it could push you past your body’s endurance. It could result in a heart attack, or possibly a stroke.” 

“That sounds like a good reason to go the hospital to me,” Rose said pointedly. “Peggy took the map, anyway. She said she had an idea about an origin point, rounded up six agents and headed out.”

It was just like Peggy to run off like that, without asking, without waiting for orders. Honestly, maybe it was a mistake, letting her come to work here. It had seemed the easiest way for them to be together. He had to wonder how much she really respected his authority. Or how much she actually cared for him, running off while he was lying unconscious. 

“I have plenty of blood samples now,” Samberly was saying. “So if you want to drag him to the hospital, I won’t stop you. But his vitals are stable, so it’s unlikely they could do anything to help him right now. He’d probably be better off resting quietly at home. Maybe better, because there should be fewer irritations there.” 

“That’s good enough for me, Doc. I’ll just head home.”

“I’m not sure you should drive, Chief Sousa,” Samberly said.

“I’ll get someone to drive you and send a car to watch your house,” Rose suggested.

“Rose, would you stop interfering already? I’m fine. Going home is only a precaution. I certainly don’t need babysitters.” Daniel couldn’t stop himself from snapping at her. 

“Actually, Chief, it’s possible you are being targeted for something. I got one of the spheres open. They don’t do anything but make noise,” Samberly said. 

“You have to be kidding. Someone made and distributed hundreds of these things, and they don’t do anything?” Daniel asked. 

“Well, the one I opened doesn’t. It’s possible that a few have a real purpose and the rest are camouflage or decoys, or something. But you’re the only person who was attacked during pick up. Parsimony says it probably has something to do with you.” 

“Maybe drugging me was the point,” Daniel said. “Maybe it’s not working correctly and everything’s fine.” 

“That’s more optimistic than I’d expect from you, Chief. If I had gone through all the trouble of drawing you out and drugging you, you can be sure I’d be watching to see if it has the desired effect. If you leave, maybe your movement will draw them out.” Daniel sighed. Samberly’s reasoning was surprisingly solid.

“Okay. How many men have returned?”

“I just heard Hartley and Valdez return, Chief. That makes eight,” Rose reported. Daniel grimaced. 

“Fine. Hartley can drive me home in my car. Then two agents can go in an escort car and clear the house, and two more can shadow them. That leaves three here. Samberly, you keep working. Anything you need to figure this out, it’s yours. Buy anything you need. Meanwhile, I want the rest of the lab staff checking spheres. No one goes home until they’ve all been examined.” 

“Thanks, Chief. Will do.” Samberly seemed pleased to be given carte blanche. He deserved it though; his work today had been excellent. He alright after all. Daniel was seriously considering inviting him to the weekly poker game.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a relief to get home. Daniel didn’t like the way Hartley drove his car and ended up barking at him to check his mirrors more often. It chafed him to wait while his agents searched his house for him, particularly when they turned up nothing. The shadow car had nothing to report either. They picked up Hartley and returned to the office while the escort car parked across the street, the agents inside settling down to watch. 

Once inside, Daniel made himself a light lunch and sat down to finish a novel. Less than ten pages in, he found himself tossing it aside. He was too restless to read, had too much energy. He really wanted to go for a swim but Dr. Samberly had been pretty clear he should rest. He was not to get himself worked up. He needed to do something with his hands, though. A quick search through a drawer and he found something that would work. His brother-and-law had sent it to him last Christmas: a knife for whittling and a few good lengths of wood. _Not sure what kind of trees you have out there,_ Pete had said. 

Having a task to focus on helped. He was able to filter out everything that was currently annoying him: the sound of traffic on the road, the bees visiting his roses, the knowledge that his men were watching his house like he was some kind of…victim. Instead there was just the blade, biting into the wood. 

He was still sitting on the back porch, turning his project in his hands, when dusk started to creep in. Daniel was heading inside when he heard a key in the door. 

“Daniel! It’s me!” Peggy called before she opened the door, clearly not wanting to startle him. 

“Please tell me you sent the car away,” he replied, settling into his favorite chair as she entered. He threw his carving on the table, but something made him palm the knife. He turned his hand over to hide the it. 

“No, but I sent the agents back to the office for debriefing, such as it is. There’s a new set of men watching the house now.”

“I don’t think you have the authority to be making those kinds of decisions, Agent Carter,” Daniel snapped at her. Usually he appreciated Peggy’s take-charge attitude and ability to get things done, but this was not the time for it. She didn’t look a bit contrite as she approached him.

“Daniel, you sound very out of sorts. Can you tell me how you’re feeling?”

“Tired of people asking me that. You took valuable intel and ran off, did you at least find something useful?” If she had to be difficult, hopefully she was at least productive as well.

“Well, I found something, but I don’t know that you would call it useful: some men who had been paid to distribute the spheres. By whom, I’m not certain. I’m not sure we should be talking about work right now.” She came over and laid her hand on his forehead, like a mother checking her child’s temperature. He flinched back, away from her touch, which just made her look even more concerned. 

“Don’t. You didn’t seem to care about me when I was lying in the lab poisoned with God-knows-what, you don’t have to pretend like you do now.” His voice was bitter. 

“You weren’t conscious. How do you know how I felt?” Peggy asked. She was still wearing that concerned look but seemed very calm. She was always so self-possessed, controlled. It made him angrier. He had seen passion and anger normally hidden under her British reserve, but here she was treating him like a stranger. 

_Like a mark._ Assessing him. How did he ever think he loved her?

“Because a woman who loved me would be there when I woke up, obviously! Not have run off without orders on some wild goose chase!” Peggy was a spy, after all. She probably didn’t love him at all, never had. She hadn’t even been interested in him until after he made chief. And he had just been letting her use him for her own ends. 

_He was such a fool._

“You’re clearly not yourself. You know very well this woman would be out doing everything she could to figure out what happened to you and how to make it better. I don’t blame you for being upset that I didn’t managed to find any answers…” 

“Yes, that’s very generous of you, not holding your shortcomings against me.” Obviously Peggy hadn’t really tried to find who was behind the madness today. She was a great spy, better than him. He had never held it against her before, but now it made him angry. Finding the people behind this should have been easy for her. Maybe the real reason she hadn’t was because she wanted something to happen to him. 

_With him gone, she could maneuver herself into position to be chief…_

Daniel found himself standing, crutch in one hand, knife in the other, mostly still hidden in his palm. 

“Dr. Samberly said you were supposed to stay calm, Daniel. This isn’t calm. Why don’t you sit back down, and I’ll go give him a call?”

He grabbed her arm before she could start backing away.

“No. I won’t let you move against me, Peggy.” 

“Move against you how? I love you, Daniel. I only want you to get better.” He was supposed to believe those words, wanted to believe them. If only Peggy sounded like she meant them, instead of still speaking so carefully. More lies. 

_But he could make them stop._

He moved before he finished the thought. The whittling knife was short but slid so easily between her ribs. 

“Daniel?” Hot blood flowed over his hand. Finally he saw something real in Peggy’s eyes. Pain. That’s all he was going to get, it seemed. He pushed her down and headed for the door.

“Daniel… don’t go!” He heard her but he didn’t stop, just headed for the door. 

Outside, his agents got out of the car when he walked up. The driver wasn’t expecting to get a crutch to the gut, so he dropped easily, allowing Daniel to slide into the car. He drove away without looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

He ended up at a diner, eating a plate of liver and onions with relish. Daniel hadn’t been able to look at liver since his injury; a side effect of it being forced upon him then by well-meaning nutritionists. Right now the soft texture of the iron-rich meat seemed to melt in his mouth, delicious beyond description. Or it did for the first half of the meal.

One minute he was enjoying his meal, and the next it turned to ashes on his tongue. He limped to the bathroom as fast as he could, barely making it before his stomach revolted. The liver was bad, but the memory of Peggy’s blood on his hands was worse. 

_What have I done?_

He had no idea how long he ended up kneeling there, stomach heaving, but it was long enough that his belly ached when it finally stopped. The pain from the socket of his prosthetic digging into his flesh forced him to his feet. 

“Need any help?” A voice called from the door. His waitress, probably making sure he wasn’t trying to climb out the window. 

_A bullet to the head, maybe._

“No, I--I’m okay now.”

Daniel splashed his face with water before returning. He left two dollars next to his plate and exited without getting any change.

Whatever circus had occurred at the house after his departure was mostly over. There was an SSR car parked in front of his house, but no lights, no activity in the yard. He cruised by on the streets perpendicular to his house, but lingering was likely to get him arrested. Daniel deserved that, of course, but right now he had to see if Peggy was okay. 

He guessed right the first time which hospital she was in. He hadn’t stopped to think about who else might be there, other than an SSR man or two. Instead he walked straight into a waiting room full of Peggy’s friends.

All of which had good reason to be angry with him.

Almost half the office was there, and several agents started to reach for their weapons until they looked around, or looked closely at him, and stopped. Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis were there, Mrs. Jarvis knitting something at a rather frantic pace. No Howard Stark, small mercy there. Samberly was nowhere to be seen, but Rose addressed him immediately.

“Chief?” She approached him cautiously, staying out of arm’s reach. 

“How is she?”

“Her lung collapsed. We’re waiting for the doctor to tell us if the tube they put in will be enough to release the pressure in her chest, or if she’ll need surgery. How are you?” Rose’s reply was pointed enough to draw blood. 

Daniel found he didn’t have words to answer. His eyes started burning with tears he had no right to cry.

“Oh, Chief,” Rose said, dragging him into a firm hug. “Dr. Samberly thought it might wear off around the twelve hour mark. It’ll be okay. Sit down with us.” 

The hug was a vote of confidence he probably didn’t deserve, and it made him freeze. He pulled away to look around the room, at people who either avoided his eyes or returned his gaze with suspicion. Shame blazed through him. 

“No--no. I--I’ll be back.” No one stopped him as he turned away.

It was hard to find a quiet spot to yourself in a hospital, even at night. He finally found a little used hallway in the basement, around the corner from the morgue. Not that there was any peace to be had. Daniel paced, unable to think of anything else to do. He didn’t know what he would do if Peggy wasn’t okay--he didn’t know what she’d do if she was.

He was still pacing when Rose came looking for him.

“She’s out of recovery now, Chief. The tube is working fine and she’s breathing on her own. They expect she’ll be awake in a little bit. Why don’t you come up and sit with us? Mr. Jarvis commandeered the nurses’ station coffee pot and hot plate and he’s managed to make food for everyone.”

“Thanks for telling me, Rose.” His stomach twisted at the thought of food as he dropped into a chair. He was relieved that Peggy was going to be okay, but now that he knew, maybe he should just go home. He could pack a suitcase--clean up the blood--and go to a motel. Then she wouldn’t have to deal with him when she got home. 

If she wanted to come home. 

“We know you were under the influence of something, Chief. No one up there blames you. We just want you to be okay--both of you.”

“Yeah, it’s just one of those crazy SSR things. Getting drugged and nearly murdering the love of your life,” he said. Daniel choked on a bitter little laugh. “I actually thought that she had it out for me, and I hated her. Those things had to come from somewhere, Rose. That kind of aggression, paranoia--it just doesn’t appear. Drugs or no drugs.” 

“We work for a covert organization, Chief. Paranoia is the name of the game. And the aggression--well. We all have a little rage. Living can wear on a person, and sometimes that’s how it comes out. But I don’t believe you have an ounce of hate in your bones, Chief. And you love Peg with every fiber of your being. She knows that, too. When she wakes up, she’s not going to want to hear you doing this to yourself, either. So when you’re tired of beating yourself up, we’ll be upstairs.” Rose left him. 

He should listen to Rose. She was right more often than not. Daniel didn’t know what to do with that hope. He could barely look her friends in the eyes, what would he even say to Peggy? For the first time in his life, Daniel wished he had never met Peggy Carter. His life would be hollow without her, but he would give it all up to undo this. There wasn’t anything he would do to avoid causing her pain.

Daniel knew from experience that wishing wouldn’t change anything. God, he was so tired. It seemed like bad things were always happening. In the past he just put his head down and weathered the storm. Peggy had a similar sort of stubbornness about her, steamrolling through any obstacle in her way. But there were some objects that were immovable, and some storms leave you changed no matter what.

He looked down at his prosthetic leg, where his stump ached inside from all the pacing. Maybe a storm was a poor analogy. This felt more like an earthquake, the ground shifting below, shaking and shattering everything to pieces.


	5. Chapter 5

Time obeys different rules inside a hospital. Daniel knew that well. The almost-year he spent recovering from his injury had felt like a lifetime. Another passed while his thoughts circled. Peggy would be okay. He didn’t deserve her. He had probably never deserved the miracle of her to begin with. She probably should leave him anyway; he was only holding her back. A second broken engagement was awfully close to a pattern. Maybe California was just doomed for him. Or maybe it was the SSR. He had compared his job to a war, and soldiers were supposed to go home eventually--in a box if not otherwise.

He could quit, get a nice librarian job somewhere boring. Oregon had some small towns with decent climates. It was unlikely he’d get drugged and start stabbing people if he spent all his days slaving to the Dewey Decimal system. 

When he thought he couldn’t feel any lower, Samberly appeared carrying a doctor’s bag and a brown paper sack. Daniel remembered his warm feelings for Aloysius just a few hours ago; looking back it should have been his first warning sign. Whatever the man had to say it was unlikely he wanted to hear it. 

“Chief Sousa! This place is a maze. I need to take more blood samples.” 

“Uh, okay.” Daniel let the doctor poke at him, drawing more blood. Then came the flashlight, thermometer, stethoscope, and the sphygmometer. Of course, Samberly kept up a running commentary as he worked.

“I really wish you had come into the office, Chief. I would have appreciated more regular samples to chart the effects of the drugs, in case someone else ends up exposed.”

“I--was afraid I’d get locked up.”

“Yes, I’m sure sitting in a basement around the corner from a morgue is an improvement over the SSR lock-up. I know I’d prefer the morgue, but all the more reason we need to work up a protocol.”

“A protocol?” Daniel was only half listening.

“For agents that are drugged, coerced, or otherwise compromised. One that would encourage them to report such incidents. If people know they can count on their agency to treat them fairly, they will be more likely to come forward--which would provide the best possible outcome for the agency.”

“That’s--a good idea, Samberly.”

“Don’t sound so surprised, Chief Sousa. Okay, as far as I can tell here, your vitals are back to normal. I need to know what happened. Start with the ride home, please.”

“Hartley’s not allowed to drive my car again.” He responded automatically. “But snapping at him the way I did was uncalled for. At home, I was anxious, restless. I decided to whittle. I had gone inside just before Peggy came home.” 

“Hm. Yes. We told her not to go, you know.”

Daniel glared daggers at Samberly.

“I thought she blew the case on purpose. I--” He had done it, but Daniel couldn’t bring himself to say the words. 

“Yes, Peggy entered the house and you exited a few minutes later. The agents that were in the car saw to her immediately after your departure. What happened then is what I’m missing.”

Daniel never thought he’d be grateful to Samberly for anything. But it had been a strange day, and now he was just glad not to relive the scene in their living room.

“I was eating liver and onions--”

“Which you normally hate, I assume. Did you vomit?”

“Yes.”

“And now--?”

“I don’t feel like hurting anyone, if that’s the question.”

“It’s not. How are you feeling, in general?”

“Like the lowest speck of dirt ever.”

“Makes sense,” Samberly said. Daniel was glad something made sense to someone. Samberly handed him the paper sack. It turned out to contain a corned beef sandwich on rye, extra mustard, and a beer. “Eat, and drink all the beer. The protein will help and the alcohol should wash out the rest of the drugs.”

“Samberly, if you don’t start explaining some things, you’re going to have to look for a new job.” The beer was pretty enticing, even if the thought of eating still turned his stomach. 

“The best I can figure, it was a polarizing inoculation.”

“In English, Samberly.” He took a big swig of the beer. 

“It was a switcher, Chief. Things you loved, you started to hate. And vice versa. It took everything you normally felt and flipped it around. I had my suspicions when you snapped at Rose in my defense. It’s a complicated formula though, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I worked out the likely half-life long before all the effects. Agent Carter went against my recommendation that we leave you alone for a bit.”

“What would even be the point of this drug?” It seemed so random. And terrible. He loved Peggy so deeply; hating anything in equal measure was terrifying. 

“I think that under the right circumstances, it would be easy to exploit. Normally, you’d be ready to die to protect the SSR, yes?”

“Well… yes.”

“Okay so--If I want something from the SSR, I find the most loyal person--and I pump them up with this stuff. Then they’re ready to give me whatever I ask for, just being contrary. Your strongest allies become your weakest.”

A chill went through Daniel.

“I wasn’t approached, though. Is it possible whoever did this was after Peggy? Wanted…” _Me to kill her._ “Wanted her hurt.”

Samberly thought it over.

“It’s possible, assuming whoever was behind this knew the details about your relationship. You also have to assume that the drug is intended to increase aggression--it’s just as likely to be an unfortunate side effect. My guess is someone was going to approach you, and they abandoned the plan when you went home with two tail cars. Or when Agent Carter found the men who were distributing the spheres. Or perhaps when she returned home, it became plain their best window for approach had ended.”

“The spheres. You still think they were a distraction?” 

“Oh, absolutely. We cracked open every one, none of them do anything.”

Daniel sipped on his beer as Samberly fell silent for once. Samberly was right about the beer helping, half of it gone and he felt ready to start tackling the sandwich. It was soggy but he was suddenly hungry, and he didn’t care.

“And why does it make sense that I feel like dirt?”

“It’s partially a hangover from the other drugs and partially something extra they added. I think the intention was to depress a drugged target, preventing them from reporting any breaches until it was too late. Also you stabbed your fiancee, who happens to be Peggy Carter. I think that would make anyone feel like dirt.”

“You’re right about that, Samberly.” They sat in silence for awhile. Samberly was almost a comforting presence, when he stopped talking. He spoke again as soon as the sandwich was gone.

“I do have some good news, Chief.” 

“You’ll forgive me if I find that hard to believe.”

“I managed to reverse-engineer a counter to the drug. I didn’t bring it for you because it’s been long enough that alcohol should do the trick; but we have it for the future. I understand if it’s cold comfort on this side of things.”

“You understand?” Daniel scoffed. Samberly was being kind to him and he still couldn’t help his reaction. At least that was back to normal.

“It shouldn’t surprise you, Chief Sousa. I do understand what it’s like not to be able to take something back. My mouth does get me in trouble quite often--even when I’m right.”


	6. Chapter 6

Samberly took a final blood sample thirty minutes after he finished his sandwich. 

“Agent Carter is awake, Chief. Give the beer another ten minutes to do it’s job, and then you should go see her.”

“Aloysius--thank you.”

“Just remember this at the end of the year, Chief Sousa. I could use a raise.”

It was a long walk back up to her floor, even if Daniel felt a little better now. He was surprised when he found only Rose sitting with Peggy. They both smiled when he came in. Peggy looked okay, if a little pale and tired where she was propped up in bed. She had a hole cut in her dressing gown, a little tube stuck out from it. 

“I sent everyone else home after they said hello. Don’t want anyone wearing our girl out.”

“And that worked? Even on Mr. Jarvis?”

“I sent him off to collect some things for me from the house,” Peggy said softly. “He’s very dear but he’s a terrible fuss-pot if you don’t give him something to do.” 

“I’m going to leave you two alone,” Rose said.

“Are-are you sure that’s okay with both of you?” Daniel had to ask. 

“Dr. Samberly gave you a clean bill of health, Chief. That’s good enough for me. I’ll be outside if you need anything, just remember what I said downstairs.” Rose sounded cheery but gave him a pointed look on the way out. 

“So, what’s the verdict?” he asked Peggy. 

“The tube in my chest is doing it’s job and letting the air out. I have to stay a couple days for observation but it’s already getting easier to breathe. Should be back to normal in about two weeks.”

That wasn’t really what he meant. 

“Can--can I do anything?” 

“You can come over here by my side, where you belong.”

“Do I belong there? At the side of a hospital bed you’re only in because of me?” He moved over to where she had indicated, on her right, opposite side of the bed from her wound. 

“Darling, I know that what happened earlier wasn’t your fault. And if I had listened to Dr. Samberly, it wouldn’t have happened. Instead I had to see how you were for myself and I rushed in without taking any precautions whatsoever.” She reached for his left hand, and he gave it to her. He watched her slide her fingers between his, heart aching. 

“You don’t have to do that. Don’t blame yourself, Peggy. I’m the one who stabbed you.” 

“I’m rather inclined to blame the wanker that shot you up with drugs, actually.” She smiled. “I doubt there is anything to say to make you feel better anyway.” With that, her right arm shot up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him to her.

His prosthetic clanked against the edge of the bed and he almost overbalanced right on top of her, but managed to catch himself as their lips met. She kissed him passionately, a bit roughly, just like always. The gasps for air she made afterward were new.

“Jeez, Peg. You didn’t learn a thing about rushing in today, did you?” She forced herself to take a few deeper breaths before answering. 

“Never. Now get your bottom into this bed with me, before I drag you into it and likely hurt us both in the process.” 

It took a little bit to figure out how to lower the bed rail on one side. This was followed by some careful shifting, scootching, wiggling and his crutch falling to the floor. At the end, Peggy lay propped up against his chest, between his leg and prosthetic. She arranged his arms around her under the tubing, her hands laid over his on her belly.

“I’m not sure this kind of thing is allowed,” he said, pressing a kiss below her ear. It certainly wasn’t anything he deserved now.

“Nonsense. They told me I was to find the most comfortable way possible to remain sitting up; this is it. If they don’t like it, I won’t be following their advice that I stay for observation.”

He felt sorry for the nurse who tried to tell Peggy better. All the talking and moving around was clearly making her short of breath, so he just squeezed her gently. Their breathing began to synchronise as they lay there. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered eventually.

“I know. I feel like I let you down. I’ve let people down before.”

“No, Peggy. The drugs--they made me feel like maybe you didn’t love me, that you were using me for your own advancement. And they created anger in response. I might be broken-hearted if that was the case, but I wouldn’t be angry.”

“Daniel. You must know that I would never--”

“I do, Peggy. I believe you love me. It’s just--sometimes I can’t believe my good fortune.”

She laughed, and then she coughed, and then she sighed.

“We make quite a pair. You think you’re fortunate to have me, and I apparently love you more than I love breathing. Although I’ve found the best things in life leave you breathless.”

His heart fluttered, his own breath catching. 

“I still don’t know how--”

“Let it be forgotten, Daniel.”

He doubted that would ever happen. For Peggy, he would try.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me with your concrit if you have it, guys.


End file.
